Amarillo May Soon Have to Call Its Baseball Team The Sod Poodles
There's a long and stupid history of allowing locals and fans to make not only suggestions for local sports teams, but also vote to decide the winner. I think Amarillo might be about to learn this lesson.
Now many times, locals actually have great ideas for the name of a sports team. But usually not. The Lubbock Cotton Kings, anyone? (Sorry, I always thought that name was dumb, especially for hockey.)
Amarillo is set to launch a new minor league baseball team. So they went to the fans for suggestions. And they got them. And you can also vote for your favorite here!
Maybe we should all chime in and make sure my favorite wins. My favorite is...Sod Poodles. Yes, it's apparently an old-timey name for prairie dogs. Let's make them say that out loud a lot!
Other options for the team include:
Boot Scooters: Because apparently some people still think that only line dancing cowboys live anywhere in Texas. NOT ALL OF US LIKE STUPID COUNTRY MUSIC!!!!
Bronc Busters: Which on the face of it isn't that bad, but again does EVERYTHING west Texas does that other people might hear about have a requirement to relate to something country? And people wonder why outsiders think we're all the same...BECAUSE WE MAKE IT EASY FOR THEM TO!
Jerky: Yes, the Amarillo Jerky is one of the options. Dried meat snacks. Baseball. Yup.
And finally, Long Haulers. I guess because it's something we can say with a clearly stupid Texas drawl, too, once again reinforcing that anyone who is ever in charge of anything in this part of the state has to make it sound dumb. Say it with me, the lawng hawlurs.
So I guess you could go vote for ANY of those options, and we would win because they all basically suck. Way to go, Amarillo! Taking the heat off of Lubbock, at least for the week.
Now just think of what most of these mascots will look like!
Oh, and just so you know that not everyone in Amarillo is this ignorant, they still have an arena football team named the Venom, which at least sounds like a decent sports team name. We do have rattlesnakes around here, and venom is pretty hardcore. But no, let's see about sod poodles or boot scooters.