Once again, leave it to the City of Lubbock to suck all the fun out of a normal day.

We know it's wet. We see it falling from the skies. Red Dirt turns into soup during thunderstorms, so I have already ruined two perfectly good pairs of shoes in this goop.


So, thinking that the City Of Lubbock feels compelled to disseminate the following to residents seems a little pointless, no matter how hard they try to be cute and funny.


Pain in the grass...yeah, we see what you did there, Shecky.

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I have a better idea. Keep the intersections from becoming jacuzzis during thunderstorms and maybe, just MAYBE, this advice would be useful. I mean, have you driven through 98th and Quaker after a gullywasher? You can lose a child in the deep end, for crying out loud.


(Not actual footage)

This also goes back to the principle that if you generally tell someone not to do something, it's essentially a dare for them to go ahead and try it. (See: Drugs.) So, I actually kinda want to drive through a Lubbock park now.

I can see my new commute now:


Yep, I'm MUDBOGGIN' IT to work!


Who's gonna stop me? Footloose and carefree, not a concern in the world as I make short work of Henry Huneke Park.


Don't you see now how pointless this is? We all know better; we're not going to turn Prairie Dog Town into the freakin' Autobahn and park all over Meerkat Manor. Come on, Lubbock, give us a little credit, okay?

Now, if you'll excuse me...I have to go do some more donuts on Wes Nessman's lawn.

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