Once again, leave it to the City of Lubbock to suck all the fun out of a normal day.

We know it's wet. We see it falling from the skies. Red Dirt turns into soup during thunderstorms, so I have already ruined two perfectly good pairs of shoes in this goop.

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So, thinking that the City Of Lubbock feels compelled to disseminate the following to residents seems a little pointless, no matter how hard they try to be cute and funny.

"DON'T BE A PAIN IN THE GRASS"

Pain in the grass...yeah, we see what you did there, Shecky.

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I have a better idea. Keep the intersections from becoming jacuzzis during thunderstorms and maybe, just MAYBE, this advice would be useful. I mean, have you driven through 98th and Quaker after a gullywasher? You can lose a child in the deep end, for crying out loud.

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(Not actual footage)

This also goes back to the principle that if you generally tell someone not to do something, it's essentially a dare for them to go ahead and try it. (See: Drugs.) So, I actually kinda want to drive through a Lubbock park now.

I can see my new commute now:

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Yep, I'm MUDBOGGIN' IT to work!

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Who's gonna stop me? Footloose and carefree, not a concern in the world as I make short work of Henry Huneke Park.

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Don't you see now how pointless this is? We all know better; we're not going to turn Prairie Dog Town into the freakin' Autobahn and park all over Meerkat Manor. Come on, Lubbock, give us a little credit, okay?

Now, if you'll excuse me...I have to go do some more donuts on Wes Nessman's lawn.

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