Human Piñata: Woman Hides Drugs Inside Rectum at Texas Border

Gather round, children! The piñata has arrived for the party! It'll be filled with sweets and delicious treats from far away, like chocolate, right??

Let me ruin your day by saying no, this piñata is filled with treats not suitable for children. Not suitable for anyone, really. On April 14, a woman attempting to smuggle narcotics "in multiple internal cavities" into Texas was arrested.

I don't--I don't want this candy... thank you though.

Read More: Spider Monkey and Cocaine Shipment Busted Along Texas Border

Texas Border Drug Smuggling Attempt

A 33-year-old woman was arrested at the El Paso port of entry after bundles of illicit narcotics were discovered hidden in her... lower orifices. Yes, both orifices.

The woman, a U.S. citizen, was standing in line waiting to cross into Texas just after midnight when a canine team conducted routine sweeps of the civilians attempting to gain entry.

The dog immediately sensed some funny business, and the woman was escorted to a secondary examination. This was when an investigation was conducted, and a Texas Department of Public Safety Officer conducted a medical exam, confirming that there were things IN her that shouldn't be.

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That's GOT to Hurt...

She was sent to a nearby medical center where CT scans showed three small bags of substances that she squeezed into the front and back door... CBP El Paso Port Director Ray Provencio stressed the dangers of attempting such an invasive tactic.

Not only are the legal consequences severe, but the results could be lethal if the packaging were to rupture inside their bodies.

After the woman removed the bundles, authorities were able to identify each substance. One package tested positive for crystal meth (.02786 kg), another for fentanyl pills (.05212 kg), and the third for fentanyl powder (.03732 kg).