Why!? I was feeling so lucky this time around. $2.04 billion dollars is pretty damn incredible. Of course, the winner just HAD to be someone in California. My boss fittingly pointed out that now, that person "can afford to live in California."

Bummer, man.

It was even more exciting because there was some kind of security issue that kept them from releasing the winning numbers last night. They didn't announce it until this morning. Everyone was on the edge of their seats.

I don't play the lottery very often, but this time, I decided to throw in 30 bucks and see what might happen. I chose birthdays and special dates for my numbers and I thought a lot about what I would do if I actually won. I knew better than to dream too big, but it's hard not to when you are thinking about that kind of cash. $2.04 billion! My god!

Even after taxes, it's still a disgusting amount of cash.

I wonder what they will do with the money. I hope it's something great. I don't expect them to donate all of it to charity or a good cause, but let's all hope some of it will go somewhere that makes the world a better place.

I like to think I would do something good with it, but who knows? Money makes you act kind of crazy. I might just lay low and hide out in a castle somewhere. Fill a pool with cash and backstroke through it while sipping champagne. Pay my favorite musicians to perform shows for my cats. The possibilities are endless.

Congratulations to the winner, but YOU SUCK, because...well, you aren't me. Dang, it.

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