Does Lubbock Need Something Like This Giant Cheeto Statue?

What in the name of Chester Cheetah is going on here?

Or, why are Canadians so STUPID?

A small town named Cheadle, Alberta (that's in Canada), has seen an influx of tourists after the company behind Cheetos erected a 17-foot tall statute of a giant Cheeto, complete with a hand covered in orange Cheetos dust.

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According to the story from KOAT-TV (The Coat), the company commissioned the statue out of stupidity because the name of the town was similar to the word "Cheeto."

Cheeto? Cheadle? The probably should have erected a statue of Don Cheadle holding a Cheeto instead.

via GIPHY

I'd pay money to see that.

So, as we do on a Friday when we're bored staring at the clock to run out on the week, we began to think about the food items that would be deserving of the statue treatment here in Lubbock. There has to be something, right?

Damn RIGHT there is. A few, in fact.

Steak fingers, perhaps? They're handheld and delicious. Plus, no city has claimed to be the Steak Finger capital of the world, so we'd have that going for us.

Barbecue? Heck, even our former carpetbagger coach was a fan of some BBQ chicken as we see above. We could erect the statue to resemble the picture (which we really just wanted one last excuse to use) and just superimpose Mark Adams' face on it.

The beloved Chilton? We invented it, we can own it.

I'm kinda thinking "The World's Largest Whataburger Table Topper" would be a huge tourist draw.

As you can see, we have options to take our place in absurd food worship lore. I'm sure there are other options that I have missed, but I need to close the door of my office and watch this week's Archer on the DVR. Killing time between weekends, you know.

Bon Appetite.