4 Uniquely Texas Things You Can Blow Your Powerball Winnings On

We've ALL been doing it. Playing a little fantasy baseball by fantasizing about what we would do if we won the (nearly) $2 BILLION dollar Powerball jackpot.

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Well, hate to burst your bubble but you're NOT going to get $2 Billion dollars. The tax man cometh, and the tax man taketh away.

According to my new favorite website at usamega.com (which we cannot access here at work...buzzkillers), even though the lump sum is $929 MILLION, here in Texas, you'll only get a check for $585,370,045 after federal taxes.

HARDLY worth the investment, in my opinion. Unless you take the annuity. It may take 30 years, but you WILL be a billionaire, eventually, if you take the 30 year payout.

So, what do we do with all that moolah? Well, unless you are like me and plan on spending the rest of your life under an assumed name in the Cayman Islands, there are plenty of things you could do right here in the Lonestar State to spend your winnings.

58 MILLION WHATABURGER MEALS

This may seem insane, but buying EACH AND EVERY TEXAS RESIDENT a combo meal from Whataburger would probably make you the most beloved citizen in the state, and probably a front-runner for an open US Senate seat in 2 years.

1/16TH OF THE DALLAS COWBOYS

Jerrah would gladly take your money, just don't expect to make any actual decisions. I'd bet the seats wouldn't be too bad though.

FIX ALL THE ROADS IN LUBBOCK

Say what you want about how charming it may seem, every time I drive down Broadway my chiropractor is able to make his boat payments.  $500 Million should be enough to fix every pothole in Lubbock and pave our streets with gold. That, however...could be problematic and slippery.

SEASON TICKETS FOR LIFE TO ALL TEXAS TECH ATHLETICS

Actually, for $500 Million, I'd want my name on the stadium. In 75 foot illuminated letters, and my likeness on the helmets. Plus, I'd need one of those stadium seat cushions for every game.

Trust me, there are SO many more options to spend your Powerball winnings on. However, I'm pretty sure that I'd probably move someeher less windy, and more palm tree filled.

Zihuatanejo...I may buy into Andy Dufresne's oceanside boat repair business.