Lubbocks Gets Dragged to Hell By ‘Sht Towns of America’ Facebook Page
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Have you ever watched a roast of a celebrity, and there's always that one comedian that takes it a little (or a lot) too far? You know that point where it goes from funny to downright mean and dark? Yeah, Lubbock got that kind of roast from a page on Facebook called "Sht [sic] Towns of America".
The weird thing is that this take down was penned way back in August 2021, but just now seems to be gathering attention and shares. When it came across my feed, all I could think was "woof".
Here's the text from the post (mildly NSFW):
Nestled in the nub of the Panhandle, Lubbock neatly manages to combine the meth addiction of Oklahoma with the utter hopelessness of New Mexico and wrap it up in a filthy tamale of Texas redneck pride.Interestingly, Lubbock has been home to an odd amount of paranormal activity. In 1951 a V-shaped formation of UFOs dubbed the ‘Lubbock Lights’ was sighted over town, leading many yokels to believe they had been visited by extraterrestrials. In 1988 Lubbock was home to sightings of an apparition of the Virgin Mary, something which startled Lubbockites because there are no virgins in Lubbock. Quite what the mother of God or a crew of interstellar tourists were doing in Lubbock is unclear - unless they got a sudden hankering for rednecks, racism and industrial waste.A popular attraction is Prairie Dog Town, where visitors can watch the burrowing rodent go about its business eating, sh*tting and participating in indiscriminate group sex. Another top sight is the American Wind Power Center, the largest windmill museum in the continental United States where you can indulge your passion for America’s 8th favourite energy source (between geothermal and setting fire to endangered species). If you aren’t in the mood for enjoying the majesty of the power of the wind then you can watch swarms of endangered bats fly into the turbines.
Lubbock is also known as the birthplace of Buddy Holly and if you spend any length of time in ‘Hub City’ then plummeting to your death in an Iowa cornfield will seem like an appealing option.
See what I mean about dark and mean? That last bit about Buddy Holly is really rough. Also, the spelling of "favourite" makes me think a non-American hosts this page.
There's a lot to take offense from here, but I find myself especially salty about the prairie dogs. They are cute, innocent and harmless and how dare they? What did a prairie dude ever do to you?
Luckily, Lubbock isn't alone. Even Honolulu Hawaii got a take down, and that place is literally a paradise.
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