USA Today Skipped Texas On Its Hot Dog Map So We Fixed It

I’m sorry, but we’re going to have some bruised knuckles and hurt feelings after this.

USA Today released a map showing some of the most iconic regional hot dogs across the United States. Not every state was assigned its own specialty, but I’m still ashamed that Texas was left out.

Texas actually has a pretty strong claim to one famous member of the hot dog family. Fletcher’s Original Corny Dogs debuted at the State Fair of Texas in 1942 and have been a fair tradition ever since. Fletcher’s even describes the creation as an entirely new food category.

Here’s where the fight breaks out: Is a corn dog really a hot dog, or has it evolved into its own separate thing?

Before you answer, please put down anything sharp.

Even worse, the map apparently assigned the corn dog to Iowa. I respect Iowa, but Texas is not surrendering the corn dog without at least filing some paperwork and exchanging a few strongly worded Facebook comments.

There’s also an argument to be made for the chili dog. Put some legitimate Texas chili on an all-beef frank, and you have something that certainly tastes like it belongs here. The problem is that chili dogs are popular all over the country, and most places aren’t waiting around for Texas to grant them permission.

It’s Time to Create the Texas Dawg

Since nobody else can get this settled, we’ll have to invent our own official Texas hot dog right here in Lubbock. Here’s my proposed recipe:

1. An all-beef hot dog to represent the Texas beef industry.
2. Sliced pickled jalapeños to add the proper amount of Texas heat.
3. Crispy fried onions for crunch and because regular onions aren’t showing enough commitment.
4. A generous pour of queso because this is Texas, and melted cheese is practically a building material.
5. A fresh pico de gallo finish to add tomatoes, onions, peppers and just enough freshness to make us pretend this is healthy. Yes, that makes this hot dog have double onions, but man up and do it for Texas.

I’m going to pat myself on the back here because that sounds like a pretty dang good dawg.

You could also substitute a healthy scoop of Rotel dip for the queso and pico. That would simplify the construction while making it taste like every great Texas party where somebody brought a Crock-Pot.

Now we just need somebody to make it.

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Flippers Tavern, are you ready to step up? Is there another Lubbock restaurant willing to accept this responsibility?

Chicago has its dog. New York has its dog. Arizona has the Sonoran dog.

Lubbock could become “The Home of the Original Texas Dawg.”

We have the recipe. We have the name. We have the appetite.

Somebody fire up the grill and get this done.