There’s an entire section of human etiquette that exists solely to make things worse.
Not uncomfortable. Not awkward.
Worse.

You know exactly what I’m talking about — all those “polite” behaviors we’ve been trained since childhood to perform because “it’s the nice thing to do,” even though inside we’re screaming, Why are we doing this? Who invented this social nightmare?

So today, I asked Lubbock: What socially polite behavior do you secretly hate the most?
And the floodgates opened.

The Door-Holding Olympics No One Asked For

Let’s start with the universal struggle: the early door-hold.

You know the move — someone sees you approaching from a distance that is, conservatively, the length of a football field, and decides to hold the door anyway. Now you’re forced to run like you’re escaping a Michael Bay explosion.

Listener Macy Renee Baker nailed it:

“You ever have someone hold the door so early you gotta run like you're escaping a movie explosion just to be polite… then I have to hit them with the dramatic awkward ‘HAHA THANK YOU.’”

Nothing says “have a nice day” like a forced cardio session before coffee.

Small Talk: The Silent Enemy

Some folks believe small talk is a kindness. No. Small talk is a punishment.

Listener Jessica Jackson gets it deep in her soul:

“We're in an elevator at 5:30 a.m. No one wants to discuss pasta sauce, I promise. Sweet, beautiful silence… that’s what we need.”

If you’ve ever been trapped in line at the grocery store while someone tries to bond over Ragu vs. Prego, you know the pain.

The 4-Way Stop Standoff

This one hits different in West Texas, where driving is already a community sport.

Evan Bandy said it best:

“Getting to a 4-way stop clearly after the other driver, but then they wave you through like they're my dad. YOU WERE THERE FIRST. GO.”

There is nothing polite about making the traffic court version of “you hang up first.”

The Fake “How Are You?”

Ah, yes, the question no one actually wants the answer to.

Listener Kim Gonzalez put it simply:

“The often insincere and obligatory ‘How are you?’”

We all know the script:
Them: How are you?
You: Good, you?
Them: Good!
Both of you: Dead inside.

The Blessed-By-Strangers Sneeze Ritual

Look, sneezing is just a sneeze. It’s not a spiritual crisis.

Michael Wayne has had enough:

“People say ‘bless you’ like I’m hexed or possessed. Your blessings will not save me.”

If someone sneezes near me, I’m not blessing anybody. I’m simply evaluating whether or not I need to evacuate the building.

When Politeness Turns Into Passive-Aggressive Theater

Minnesota Nice, Southern Hospitality, Midwest Manners — we all know them.
But the “nice” that’s actually code for “I have deep unresolved rage”?
Elite.

D. Bjorn Christian summed it up with:

“There’s true Minnesota Nice, and then there's the passive-aggressive version… get away from me with that.”

It’s the tone that says,
“I made you cookies…But I also hate you.”

And Finally: The Overly Polite Early Morning People

Some people wake up happy.
The rest of us wake up mad that we woke up.

Danny Ortiz said:

“People who are extremely giddy and overly friendly early in the morning. Calm the hell down.”

If you’ve ever encountered a 6:00 a.m. ray of sunshine while you’re still booting up like Windows 95, this one stings.

So What Did We Learn Today?

Politeness is great… in theory.
However, many of our so-called “polite behaviors” are actually subtle social landmines that we all tiptoe around so we don’t appear rude.

You don’t have to bless my sneeze.
You don’t have to wave me through the stop sign.
And for the love of all things holy, stop holding the door when I’m 40 yards away.

Let’s start a new movement:
Reasonable Politeness.
Not rude. Not overly helpful. Just… normal.

Because real kindness isn’t forcing someone to sprint, small-talk, or guess what emotion your awkward smile represents.
It’s giving people space, grace, and silence when they need it.

But if you do insist on being polite… please do not make me run. I beg.

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